Maybe it really was like a movie.

Yesterday I really had 0 plans whatsoever. I figured I would just stay in all day, but around one or so I decide to go for a little walk. I wanted to take some b-roll of campus while it was empty over the weekend. I was going to take the bus, but they were crazy delayed for some reason so I just walked the whole way, which ended up being like 3 miles or so. It sucked ass too because it was so goddamn hot. It was like 97 degrees yesterday and that wasn't even the feels like temp. I am glad I went on that walk though because while I was waiting for my bus back to the apartment I saw a flyer taped to a telephone pole advertising a punk show that night. I thought why the hell not and went.

I'm glad I did becuase I actually had a great time and ended up talking to a lot of people and making some friends. My friend who I've been spending a lot of time with lately also ended up showing up which was such an oddly serendipitious moment because I had no idea he even knew about the show or had any interest in it. Turns out his roomate was friends with the lead singer in the opening band, so he came with him. I'm glad he did because I definitely wouldn't have recognized his roomate on his own because his roomate was decked out in drag. It was pretty impressive honestly. I always liked watching drag shows and stuff and thought it would be cool to do it but I have literally no idea where to start with that kind of thing. Previously I said my friend's roommate was kind of weird, but honestly he isn't that bad. He has his eccentricities, but I don't think he is a bad guy. I don't think I would be friends with him independently, but he isn't the worst person to have to hang around. His brother though, now that's a different story.

I did see one other guy I vaguely know from doing community theater in highschool, but not enough to hold a real conversation. I think he must have left during the first band because I didn't see him after that. I don't really know why he showed up if it wasn't his bag. I guess he was there with friends but he clearly wasn't that into it. It's a shame because the bands were all really great. The lead singer of the first one that my friend's roommate was a pretty cool guy and stayed for all the other bands as well. We moshed together especially during the final act. I just love moshing. It's the whole reason I even decided to go because I just felt in the mood. I love how much you get to just like move and flail around. It's such a raw and personal form of expression that you very rarely have the opportunity to express elsewhere. When it gets really intense and everyone is pushing and bumping into each other it really feels so intimate. It's really the purest from of intimacy in a certain way because of just how raw it is. There's no preconcieved notions about how to it properly. It's all just about getting caught up in the moment.

My friend didn't want to try it though unfortunately. I tried to get him too but it wasn't his thing. He didn't even watch the final act and just sat outside chatting with people. I get he's a social butterfly but you can't come to a riot grrrl show and not watch the riot grrrl band perform. They were definitely the best act too. No hate to the other performers but there's a reason why they were the headliners. I even bought a cd from them after the show. I really like how much I have been doing lately. I have to start just going to things and doing things. Too often I pysche myself out. It helps having my good friend here now too, but I need to just work up the courage to do shit alone. A lot of the times even when it starts out with me alone by the end I'm very much not. I do have to say though my legs were really fucking sore this morning. I'm not sure if the 3 mile walk or the 3 hours of moshing had more to do with it.

I don't have any plans today really. I got all my chores done and now have nothing to do. My great grandma is having some big extended family get together with all her siblings, but to be honest I don't really want to go. I barely know any of them at all and it would just be awkward. I already saw my aunt when she was in town a couple weekends ago anyways, so going back just for her seems a little unecessary. I have to leave for Italy in a couple days as well. I'm already pretty much packed and ready to go. I'm really excited but also like kind of nonchalant about it. I'm not even trying to be it's just how I am. I think I purposely prevent myself from getting too hyped because then it makes actually being there more impactful than if I build it up too much. I'm sort of nervous about some aspects of it, like missing a week of classes and meeting my estranged step-sister for the first time, but I'm sure it will all be fine in the long run. Everything always works out for me. I've started saying that a lot. I used to think thinking stuff like that would be a bad omen but now I see it more like a manifestation of the good to come.